Influence.

There was this certain period of time during my life when I felt myself being heavily influenced by my surroundings and the people around me, doing things way unimaginable to the present me. It was the cause of many embarrassing incidents, but over the years the impact has gradually lessened.

Then I was quite aware of the kind of influence I had on others. For this I'm greatly relieved by the fact that my brother did not follow in my footsteps. No one should. This isn't the end of it though.

Around a few years ago I met several people whom I had quite a great deal of influence over. Wasn't a bad thing. I had a bunch of ITE students older than me belonging to this group and they got their motivation, though it came from the wrong way - becoming an replication of what influences them. I wouldn't call them exact replicas of myself though, because after all they were older than me, and thus were definitely more matured.

I used to call them photocopy machines.

But of course, among the people I knew back then there were people sitting in my position and yielding influence over me, like Edward, who has been with me for like 6 years already (this is the 7th,) though that includes the periods we fell out and refused to talk to each other, and my ex-classmates in secondary school whom I'd like to say to, that without them I wouldn't be here today.

Right now, the question is; am I still producing copies of myself? Ever since that incident with a bunch of ITE guys, I've been cutting down on communication and squeezing myself into tight groups to contain myself, but no, it didn't stop.

Fortunately the amount of influence wasn't as great as before, but that can be unfortunate as well, as influence is actually capable of ridding bad traits within a person. By experience, a 50:50 usually ends up with a big problem. So I guess my influence may not be a good thing either.

It is actually quite depressing, as opposed to being flattered, to talk to myself or read something that I'd actually write. The world doesn't need two Byan's, or two Neue's or two cream's for the matter. One is enough, and it will always be enough.

ps. Thanks Colin.

Disclaimer (making sure you actually read all of it before this): This post, in no way, proves that I am insane, imagining things, or just plain evil.

Mmm.