It is really at times like this when I wonder who are the real friends around me. Judging from those whom I am not paranoid towards neither sensitive, how can I not lack trust in them if they were to regard me as nothing but a passerby? There is no way to discern the flaws in either one of our character, yet I am blaming them. So am I in the wrong? I have gone through this for 17 years straight, plus problems rising inside of my family. If god(s) were to exist, would this be retribution? Or a fundamental flaw in my character? Or just that I am meeting the wrong people at the wrong time, trusting them but setting too wide a distance between us?
How many have moved on in life, yet I am still down here wondering again and again. If anyone were to be the culprit, would it be time? Time is not human, it isn't an individual, so can I blame others for this life?
If I have anything else to say, would the trains stop moving for the passengers to listen to me, before each of them are disregarded as another passerby? What about tomorrow, when most of us will wake up, not knowing that someone has shut us out of sight?
So I asked why, yet who should I ask? In the moment of anger, day becomes night and even so, eternal? These are the times when I recite, to myself, as for to why, why is why never answered by anyone from the light, if I am cursed with evil stares behind my back.
When paranoia wouldn't answer me, I struggled and fought, against an army of questions, of each are armed with shields thicker than any blood and higher than the sky I see. I ask why to them, yet there is no reply. So now I ask you why, why did you people do this to me, and that where else in the world can I find, the exact definition of a friend for life?
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